Trong đầm gì đẹp bằng sen,
Lá xanh, bông trắng lại chen nhị vàng.
Nhị vàng bông trắng lá xanh,
Gần bùn mà chẳng hôi tanh mùi bùn.
Bà ngoại ơi, you are one of the people I hold closest to my heart. You are the foundation stone of my understanding of love. You showered us with the most selfless and unconditional love I have ever known. Throughout the years, I have had so many memories slip away already, but every last one I have, I will now forever cherish.
I almost forgot about the red sweater you once knitted me, long ago. Even when I had outgrown it back then, I still struggled to get dressed in it. It would take me so long to get ready, to the extent that mom then got rid of it and told me it just got displaced – hidden away, but still for my own good.
Each time I put on my earrings, I try to remember how it was to touch your ears when you would put me to sleep. Each time I put on my rings, I remember how we would sit on the couch and I would play with your hands. Each cup of coffee I drink reminds me of those times you let me have some rebellious sips after mom had left, before going to bed.
Every time I visit you at the graveyard, with your lotus engraved on your tombstone, I can only hope that I make you proud. Every time I look at myself in the mirror, with my lotus engraved on my shoulder, I can only hope I live up to your expectations. You have defined the person I am today.
I will never forget those days as we all were beside you on your deathbed. Even the last time I ever saw you, as you were buried with hundreds of origami lotuses, I never want to forget. Ever since then, wearing anything but black feels wrong.
You are the core of our family. The central driving force that unites us. I can still vividly remember those last few days. We were spread throughout the whole city, but yet when the day had dawned, each one of us headed to where you were. Home was there where you were.
As you laid on your deathbed; all those incense smells weaving through the room; the rhythm of each beat pounding to the chants; all the aunties and mom chanting with their cries – the rest of us could only sit silently weeping next to you. No one could stop all those tears, as we all knew that you were about to leave us.
When the day came, I can still remember, how the aunties and mother still tried to reach out to you as they took you away. Kneeling and praying when you were then gone, no longer bound by the earthly clay and no longer within reach. I can sometimes still hear their cries.
Nothing was ever the same and it will never again be as it was. Your absence, I can still feel it even after more than a decade since you have passed away. Not a single time can I remember you in an unwavering manner. All of this is the remnant of your love.
The affection you enveloped us in, the selfless and unconditional love that you taught us, its absence weighs heavy on our hearts, yet it remains a cherished ache we would never trade. Thank you Grandmother. In our hearts, you shall forever be.